When we first released our books, starting all the way back in 2012, our book covers were very different. They have gone through a few different incarnations, but I think we are finally happy with the covers we have now! I am very pleased to be able to share the new book covers with you now 🙂
Via the lovely people at Goodreads, you can win a signed copy of not only Wife Maintenance Quarterly but also Wife Maintenance Quarterly II! Wife Maintenance Quarterly is a satirical comedy self-help book 🙂
Do you have a wife?
Yes, you went ahead and did it, took the plunge and got married. And now, it’s too late to give her back and you’ve realised what an unmitigated disaster the unattended woman makes of everything.
The marriage guidance writers of the world renowned Institute of spousal correction, Wife Maintenance Quarterly, are here to help. Whether you’ve got a fat frau, an insolent missus or a lazy wretch of a little woman, we’ve got just the right insider knowledge on which nuts to tweak to get your capsizing marriage ship-shape and tight as an au pair’s briefs.
Wife Maintenance Quarterly is primarily intended for new husbands, but it is also of use to old hands looking for tips on how to train and how to get the best out of their wives, singletons who’ve heard bad things and are afraid of making the plunge and, of course, women themselves looking for advice on how to be the best little wives they can be.*
Whatever your marital situation, make room for Wife Maintenance Quarterly on your bookshelf!
*Statistics show that at least 1 in 3 adult women can read.
So, exciting news from us with regards to our next project. Michelle will start research for the next book in the zombie series in the new year. Again it will tell the story of what happened after the zombie outbreak happened and will cover Asia.
You can buy the first two books in paperback or as a Kindle e-book:
The Undead: Book One, Overview
What might life be like in a world beset by billions of human zombies? The Undead: Book One, Overview is an introduction to a nightmarish world in which the last few million humans are living in the shadow of a terrible and incurable virus that is drowning the species under a wave of billions of zombies. Book one focuses on how a British government would react to the crisis of suddenly finding that more than 58 million of its people had become highly infectious zombies and that the survivors are all infected with an incurable condition that will turn them into zombies upon death. The worldwide Infection Event occurred in 2020 and the dwindling human race has been struggling to survive in a poisoned world ever since.
The Undead: Book Two, North America
The sequel to The Undead: Book One, Overview looks at the worldwide RVS2 zombie pandemic as it happened in continental North America. Focusing on the emotional reality of life in the Crisis and the conditions on the ground of the new nation, United America, Book Two details the continuing survival of the Western superpower, even as it stares slow, inexorable oblivion in the face.
Find out how to buy these books at our webshop.
Something we’ve always been interested in, is having our books as audiobooks. We’re a bit (okay a lot!) low on funds, so I decided to record my own. I have created two audiobook extracts for both The Liverpool Vampire and Admin Is Hell, and I’m waiting to find out the verdict from the land of the internet peoples before I commit myself to creating them for the other eight books, as it takes so long to record them, edit them and then make them into YouTube friendly files. Please give me any feedback, positive or negative, as I’d like to improve on them if I can 🙂
I have just realised that I’d mentioned previously that I was creating a new webshop where lovely customers would be able to buy one of our paperback books. Well, it’s finally live and ready to go!
I built it using Wix and I have to say that of all of the internet platforms I’ve used to build websites before, it’s the easiest site I’ve used! It’s so user friendly and I picked it up so quickly. I probably don’t use all of its functionality, but I’m really pleased with the website I ended up with!
I’m so proud of Michael; he hasn’t let his brain injury hold him back and he inspires me every single day.
So, take a peek and please let other readers know that we’re there 🙂
I currently have the week off work, which enables me to catch up with my admin surrounding our books. Yesterday, I had the fun task of completing our tax return for 2014/2015, but I’m glad that it’s done now. I know that it’s not due until January 2016, but I like to tick tasks off lists 😀
This week I have also been working on a new webshop to enable people to buy the paperback books. We’ve tried various webshops in the past, with varying degrees of success, but I really like the one I’m building now, and it seems really easy to use. I will let you all know when it’s live, so that you can marvel over my handiwork, and buy books if you like 😀
I’ve just read an article on the BBC News website about people who still use old gadgets, like black and white televisions, Polaroid cameras, landline phones, ZX Spectrums and typewriters.
It got me thinking as Michael types every fiction book onto a typewriter. I then scan the pages onto the computer using clever software that converts it into text, and then I build the book using the scanned pages.
Michael has been using a typewriter since I met him in 2008, so I don’t know anything other than the clackety sound the typewriter makes as he crafts his work. It’s kind of hypnotic and I love to hear it. If he’s typing, he’s happy, so the sound of the typewriter is happiness 🙂
I decided to interview Michael about his typewriter usage 🙂
How old were you when you received your first typewriter?
I was 17. My mum and dad bought me it because I really wanted one. I was writing short stories at the time and we couldn’t afford a computer, so the only available technology was a typewriter or a pen. Writing with a pen is exhausting. Not physically exhausting, though you can get cramp, but mentally exhausting because it’s so much slower. Writing something long-hand is so much slower than a typewriter, because you can’t write as fast as you think with a pen, to be honest you can’t write as fast as you think with a typewriter either, but it’s closer than a pen at least. Although, the typewriter I have written most of my books on isn’t my first typewriter. My very first typewriter was made by the company Brother, I think, but I may be wrong, and instead of a regular ink ribbon, it had a kind of a cartridge that contained a tape and the letters wouldn’t be transferred onto the page by ink transference, they would be stamped out of the ink and transferred straight onto the page. The advantage of that was you’d have crisp letters every time, the disadvantage was you’d only use the cartridge once, and a new cartridge was really expensive, so they sent that one back and got me an Olivetti Lettera 25 which I used to type ten of my first eleven books on. The Box Of Mirrors was written in pen.
What typewriter are you using currently?
Currently I’m using a Silver Reed Silverette II, because over the years certain things started to malfunction on my Olivetti. I was typing with it once and the spring that makes the ink ribbon automatic return mechanism work came unhooked somehow from inside the machine and shot past my head! Other bits and bobs stopped working over the years and so I needed a new typewriter. Unfortunately the Silver Reed has a very hard platern, which is the roller that the paper goes onto (I’m reliably informed it was manufactured with hard rubber), and so I needed to get another typewriter as it stopped feeding paper, and there’s only so much sandpapering of the platern you can do. When I have finished writing the book I’m currently writing on the Silverette II, then I’ll use my latest typewriter, which is, I think, my oldest typewriter in terms of when it was made, which is an Underwood 18, which so far has no problems. I will get the Silver Reed and the Olivetti fixed, but it’s a specialist job and it’s expensive, so at the moment it’s oddly cheaper to buy a new second-hand typewriter than it is to fix the one you’ve already got.
Have you ever considered joining the 20th Century, considering that we’re in the 21st Century, and using a computer?
I have tried to write on a computer, but the ability to edit the document as you go is apparantly too much for me to resist, and so I write a tiny little bit, and then spend three times as long perfecting those couple of hundred words, that will, inevitably, require editing anyway! And so, getting nothing done. Added to that though, typing on a computer, I just feel disconnected from the work. I think that’s because the work doesn’t exist physically unless you were to print it out; it’s just a document on a computer, and given particularly when I first started using computers, the grim reliability they had for crashing and losing all of your work, trusting the computer with the only copy of my book is far too seat-of-the-pants for me, so I prefer to get it down on a typewriter, and then have it scanned or copy typed.
Finally, will you always use a typewriter?
Yes. I’ve seen once there was a USB keyboard, I think it was, which was genuinely a typewriter. It was a circular key qwerty keyboard, that you plug into your computer in the place of an ordinary PC keyboard, so you could get the feel of using a typewriter, without having to reload the paper every 700 or 800 words. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that’s an affectatation, but it does seem a little bit like the person plugging in that keyboard would be yearning to use a typewriter, so why not do it anyway? Especially since optical character recognition (OCR) programmes are so easy to come by now, so it’s not as if typewritten documents need copy-typing, as long as your ink ribbon’s good and you’re a good speller.
A friend told me all about Adobe InDesign and how it would be useful for me to use to create posters about Michael’s books. Previously, I’ve just been using MS Word or PowerPoint and creating jpgs that way, which have been okay but not an amazing standard. I have just downloaded Adobe InDesign (currently on a free trial), and I am about to create my first poster. To say that I’m excited about it is an understatement. This is what my life has become: aged 36, sitting in on a Saturday night, about to create some posters. It might sound like an odd Saturday night, but I’m happy! 😀